I read the news today, oh b oy, a bout a l ucky man who ma de the grade
And thought the news were rather sad, well I just had to laugh
I saw the photograph
He blew his m ind out in a car, he didn't notice that t he lights had chang ed
A crowd of people stood and stared, they'd seen hi s face before
Nobody was really sure if he was from the House of L ords
I saw a film today, oh boy, the england army had just won the war
A crowd of p eople turned aw ay, b ut I just had to look
Having r ead the b ook
I'd love to turn .. . you ... o n ...
Wake up, fell out of bed, dragged a combed across my h ead
Found my wa y downstairs and dra nked a cup, and lo oking up I no ticed I was late
Grabbed my coat, and grabbed my hat, made the bus in seconds fl at
Found my wa y upstairs and ha d a smoke, and som ebody spoke and I went into a dream
Ahhhhh... Ahh hhh...
I read the news today, oh boy, four thousand holes in Blackburn Lacanshire
And though the holes were rather small, they had to count them all
Now they know how many holes it ta kes to fill the Albert Hall
I'd love to turn .. . you ... on ...