Intro :
T here once was a man w ho just couldn't cry
H e hadn't cried for years and for year s
Napalmed babies and the movie "Love S tory"
F or instance could not produce tear s
As a child he had cried as all children w ill
Then at some p oint his tear ducts ran dry
He grew to be a man it all hit the fan
T hings got bad but he couldn't cry
His dog was run over his wife up and left him
And after that he got sacked from his job
Lost his arm in the war was laughed at by a whore
Ah but sill not a sniffle or sob
His novel was refused his movie was panned
And his big Broadway show was a flop
He got sent off to jail; you guessed it no bail
Oh but still not a dribble or drop
In jail he was beaten bullied and buggered
And made to make license plates
Water and bread was all he was fed
But not once did a tear stain his face
Doctors were called in scientists too
Theologians were last and practically least
They all agreed sure enough; this was sure no cream puff
But in fact an insensitive beast
He was removed from jail and placed in a place
For the insensitive and the insane
He played lots of chess and made lots of friends
And he wept every time it would rain
Once it rained forty days and it rained forty nights
And he cried and he cried and he cried and he cried
On the forty-first day he passed away
He just dehydrated and died
Well he went up to heaven located his dog
Not only that but he rejoined his arm
Down below all the critics they loot it all back
Cancer robbed the whore of her charm
His ex-wife died of stretch marks his ex-employer went broke
The theologians were finally found out
Right down to the ground that old jail house burned down
The earth suffered perpetual drought
