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I was r iding o n th e Ma yflower
When I t hought I spied some land ...
Intro :
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I was r iding on the Mayflower
When I t hought I spied some land
I y elled for Captain Arab
I h ave yuh understand
Who came r unning to the deck
Said "B oys forget the whale
Look o n over yonder
Cut the e ngines change the sail
H aul on the bowline"
We s ang that melody
Like a ll tough sailors do
When they are f ar away at sea
"I t hink I'll call it America"
I s aid as we hit land
I t ook a deep breath
I fell d own I could not stand
C aptain Arab he started
W riting up some deeds
He s aid "Let's set up a fort
And start b uying the place with beads"
J ust then this cop comes down the street
C razy as a loon
He t hrows us all in jail
For c arryin' harpoons
Ah m e I busted out
Don't e ven ask me how
I w ent to get some help
I walked b y a Guernsey cow
Who dir ected me down
To the B owery slums
Where p eople carried signs around
S aying "Ban the bums"
I jumped right into line
Sayin' "I h ope that I'm not late"
When I r ealized I hadn't eaten
For fi ve days straight
I w ent into a restaurant
L ookin' for the cook
I t old them I was the editor
Of a f amous etiquette book
The w aitress he was handsome
He wore a p owder blue cape
I o rdered some suzette I said
"Could you p lease make that crepe"
J ust then the whole kitchen exploded
From boilin' f at
F ood was flying everywhere
And I l eft without my hat
Now I didn't mean to be nosy
But I w ent into a bank
To g et some bail for Arab
And all the b oys back in the tank
They a sked me for some collateral
And I pulled down my pants
They t hrew me in the alley
When up c omes this girl from France
Who inv ited me to her house
I w ent but she had a friend
Who k nocked me out and robbed my boots
And I was o n the street again
Well I r apped upon a house
With the U .S. flag upon display
I s aid "Could you help me out
I got some f riends down the way"
The m an says "Get out of here
I'll t ear you limb from limb"
I said "You k now they refused Jesus too"
He s aid "You're not Him
G et out of here before I break your bones
I ain't your p op"
I dec ided to have him arrested
And I went l ooking for a cop
I r an right outside
And I h opped inside a cab
I w ent out the other door
This E nglishman said "Fab"
As he s aw me leap a hot dog stand
And a c hariot that stood
P arked across from a building
Advert ising brotherhood
I r an right through the front door
Like a h obo sailor does
But it was j ust a funeral parlor
And the man a sked me who I was
I rep eated that my friends
Were all in j ail with a sigh
He g ave me his card
He said "C all me if they die"
I s hook his hand and said goodbye
Ran o ut to the street
When a b owling ball came down the road
And k nocked me off my feet
A p ay phone was ringing
It j ust about blew my mind
When I p icked it up and said hello
This f oot came through the line
Well b y this time I was fed up
At t ryin' to make a stab
At b ringin' back any help
For my f riends and Captain Arab
I dec ided to flip a coin
Like e ither heads or tails
Would l et me know if I should go
Back to s hip or back to jail
So I hocked my sailor suit
And I g ot a coin to flip
It c ame up tails it rhymed with sails
So I made it b ack to the ship
Well I got back and took
The parkin' t icket off the mast
I was r ipping it to shreds
When this c oastguard boat went past
They a sked me my name
And I said "Captain Kidd"
They b elieved me but
They w anted to know
What ex actly that I did
I s aid for the Pope of Er uke I was employed
They l et me go right away
They were v ery paranoid
Well the l ast I heard of Arab
He was s tuck on a whale
That was married to the deputy
S heriff of the jail
But the f unniest thing was
When I was leavin' the bay
I s aw three ships a-sailin'
They were a ll heading my way
I a sked the captain what his name was
And how come he d idn't drive a truck
He said his n ame was Columbus
I just said "Good luck"
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