Intro :
When I'm f ive
I will w ash my face and hands all b y myself
W hen I 'm five
I will c hew and spit tobacco like my grandfather j ones
'cause I'm o nly four and five is far aw ay
When I'm f ive
I will r ead the magazines in m ummy's drawer
W hen I' m five
I will w alk behind the soldiers in the may day para de
'cause I'm o nly four and grown-ups walk too f ast
Y esterday was h orrid day 'cause R aymond kicked my s hin
And m ummy says if I am g ood she'll let me g o to school in august
Daddy s houted loud at m ummy and I d ropped my toast at b reakfast
And I l aughed when bonzo l icked my f ace because it t ickled
I w onder why my daddy cries and h ow I wish that I was nearly f ive
When I'm f ive
I will c atch a butterfly and eat it and I w on't be sick
W hen I 'm five
I will j ump in puddles laugh in church and marry my mu m
And I'll l et my daddy do the washing-u p
I f I close one e ye the people o n that side can't s ee me
I get h eadaches in the m orning and I r ode on freddie's t riclycle
And everyw here was funny w hen I ran d own to the s weetshop
Then I f ell and bleeded-u p my knee and e verybody s oppied me
I s aw a photograph of jesus a nd I asked him if he'd make me f ive
I saw a photograph of j esus and I asked him if he' d make me five
When I'm f ive
W hen I 'm five
W hen I 'm oah