I play in a band
We're the best in the land
We're big in both Chelsea and France
I play one mean guitar and then score at the bar
There's a line of chicks waiting for their chance
So com e on now honey, I'll make you feel pretty
These other gals mean nothing to me
Let's finish these drinks and be gone for the night
'Cause I'm more than a handfull you'll see
[Refrain :]
So kis s me, I'm shitface d
and i'm soake d and i'm soiled and brown in the trousers,
She kissed me !
And I only bought her one round
I can bench press a car, I'm an ex football star
with degrees from both Harvard and Yale
Girls just can't keep up, I'm a real love machine
I've had far better sex while in jail
I've designed the Sears Tower, I make two grand an hour
I cook the world's best duck flambe
I'll take the pick of the litter, girls jockey for me
I don't need these lines to get laid
[Refrain]
I'm a man of the night, a real ladies delight
See my figure was chiseled from stone
One more for the gal then I'll escort her home
Come last call, I'm never alone
I've a house on the hill with a red water bed
That puts Hugh Heffnor's mansion to shame
With girls by the pool and Italian sports cars
I'm just here in this dump for the game
[Refrain] (2x)
Ahh, fuck it. Who am I shitting ?
I'm a pitiful sight, and I ain't all that bright
I'm definitely not chiseled from stone
I'm a cheat and a liar, no woman's desire
I'll probably die cold and alone
But just give me a chance, 'cause deep down inside
I swear I got a big heart of gold
I'm a monogamous man, no more one night stands
Come on, honey, let me take you home
[Refrain] (4x)
