Intro : (2x)
Hey honey have you gained some weig ht in your rear-end
The dress you wear reminds me of my old girl friend
And where'd you get th ose shoes, I think the y're pretty lame
Would you stop talking 'cause I'm tryin g to watch the game
If you're a man who wants to live a long and happy li fe
These are the things you don't say t o your wife.
I planned a hunting trip next week on your birth day
I didn't ask you but I knew I'd be ok
Go make some dinne r while I watch this fishing sh ow
I taped it over our old weddi ng video
If you're a man who wants to live a long and happy li fe
These are the things you don't say t o your wife .
Your cooking is ok but not like mother mak es
The diamond in the ring, I b ought you is a fake
Your eyes look puffy dear, are you f eeling i ll
Happy anni versary, I b ought you a treadm ill
If you're a man who wants to live a long and happy li fe
These are the things you don't say t o your wife .
If you a man who doesn't want to get killed wit h a k nife,
These are the things you d on't say to your w ife.